If Pigs Could Fly… We Wouldn't Have To Throw 'Em!

[mjharper]

Introduction
New in Carcassonne, move your pig more often instead of playing with it in the paddock! Under the new rules, your trusty followers are able to give your pig a mighty heave and throw it to another tile!

Rules
Having deployed the pig, you may now move it the same number of tiles as you have followers in your supply - and only that many. Throwing pigs is quite an art, and takes years of training to achieve Olymipic precision. So, if you have three unused followers in your supply, they are able to throw the pig three tiles. Three is the number of the counting, and the number of the counting shall be three. Two is not allowed, excepting that you proceed to three. Four tiles are not allowed, and five is right out.

You can throw the pig over all obstacles - even gaps in the playing field - through the awesome strength of the followers. The only exceptions are cathedrals, the city of Carcassonne itself, and certain towers (see below). And naturally, the pig must land on a farm segment, and there must be a farmer of the throwing player on a connecting segment.

Clearly, the primary function of the thrown pig is to move it to a new tile. When it lands, however, the second function of the thrown pig comes into force, as it squashes any follower (even the player's own) on the farm segment of the tile. That follower must then be returned to its owner.

Towers
Only if the throwing player has more followers in supply than the tower has blocks may the pig be thrown over the tower. A follower on to of the tower adds one to the virtual tower height.

The Big Meeple
Here we have our Olympic pig-throwing champion! A number of additional rules come into play here - the long throw, the high throw, the precision throw, and the defensive stance:

The long throw
The big meeple can throw either one or two tiles, instead of the usual obligatory distance of one tile.

The high throw
If it chooses to throw one tile, then it may instead throw the pig higher, enabling it to be thrown over the previously impassable objects - cathedrals, the city of Carcassonne, and over 'equal' towers (that is, where the number of followers is equal the number of blocks) as well as 'lesser' towers (where the number of followers is greater than the number of blocks).

The precision throw
In the case of a lesser tower with a follower on top of it, the precision throwing of the big meeple is able to knock the follower off the tower (following the usual rules for squashed followers). Again, the pig may only be thrown one tile in this case.

The defensive stance
Should the pig be thrown at a tile containing a big meeple, then the big meeple may catch the pig and avoid being squashed. The outcome is determined as follows. If the to-be-squashed player has more followers in supply than the throwing player, the pig is caught, roasted on an open fire, and the big meeple has pork chops for dinner. If the throwing player has equal to or more followers in supply than the to-be-squashed player has, and the to-be squashed player has at least one normal meeple in supply, then the big meeple catches the pig, but is injured - the big meeple must be removed from play, and replaced by a normal meeple, who then has pork chops for dinner (two nights in I row, I guess). However, if to-be-squashed player has zero followers in supply, then the big meeple is squashed, removed from play, and the pig lives to oink another day.

The Dragon
The pig may also be sacrificed to the dragon!. If the pig is thrown to a tile containing the dragon, then it is immediately devoured and removed from play. The dragon, having spoiled its appetite by eating between meals, then becomes drowsy and, deciding to take a nap, is laid on its side. The next time a dragon tile is drawn, instead of being moved the dragon awakes and is stood upright again (now you know why Smaug was resting when Bilbo stumbled into the cavern!).

The Fairy
Fairies and pigs have, as I'm sure you know, a well-documented ancient feud ("it's the smell"), and the pig may not be thrown onto the same tile as the fairy, or to any of the eight tiles surrounding it. And, new to these rules, the fairy may not be moved to any of the eight tiles surrounding a pig either.

Final Thoughts
Do I get my Variant badge now? And is anyone up for a Monty Python total conversion of Carcassonne?

[Gantry]

wow 

you're an admin, you can just asign yourself any badge lol 

[mjharper]

wow 

you're an admin, you can just asign yourself any badge lol 

nah, I still have to plead and haggle

[Hypnotoad]

And is anyone up for a Monty Python total conversion of Carcassonne?

Lord yes!

[canada steve]

 

Love it Matt. Shouldnt the title be something like "The Holy Hog of Carcassonne" if you want a pythonesque feel to it !!

[mjharper]

"The Holy Hog of Carcassonne"

LOL. Cruel on the pig, though. I was actually thinking of the scene where the French catapult the cow over the castle walls and crush one of the squires. But the Holy Hog would do it too… Hey, doesn't the builder look a bit like a priest? And the magic gate could be a cavern guarded by the killer bunny…

Got it - you have to throw the Holy Hog at a magic gate in order to enter it.

And the dragon is now the Dread Beast of Aaaaarrrghhhhhh, the fairy is Tim the Enchanter, the towers are all Castle Anthrax, the city of Carcassonne is Camelot (only a model) and the Count could either be Arthur or God… And the big meeple is now called Lancelot.

[Tobias]

And Meeples are henceforth to be refered to as "The knights who says Ni!"

Yes - now there's no more excuse not to drink and play